I Feel Like a Failure—Here’s the Truth That Helped Me Rise Again

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but if you’ve been quietly whispering to yourself, “I feel like a failure,” you are not alone. We don’t talk about this feeling enough—the weight, the shame, the wondering if you’re just not cut out for the thing you’re chasing. I’ve been there. I’ve sat with that awful voice in my head that tells me I’m behind, that I’m too late, that I’ll never figure it out. And let me tell you what I’ve learned from that place.

Tell yourself this: “You only fail if you quit.”

Isn’t it funny how life works?

We count ourselves out so quickly. Watching everyone else and comparing ourselves has become the name of the game.
Who’s doing what? Who has what? What goals have they crushed?

And there we are—shrinking in defeat, staring at our vision boards, wondering if we’ll ever get there.
It starts to feel more like a curse than a blessing.
I feel like a failure, we whisper… and then we hide.

I blame a lot of that on social media.
People only post what’s going right. Rarely do we see the mess behind the scenes. It’s like a mask. And honestly? That’s not for me. I’m about the real. I share the not-so-great stuff so others feel seen and connected.

Because to me? That’s what it’s all about—human connection.

Sure, the wins are motivating. But the losses?
That’s where the growth lives.
That’s where we get to inspire.

But vulnerability? Whew. It’s scary.
Because it makes us feel naked. Exposed.
But I would argue—that’s the most beautiful version of a human: stripped down, fully aware, vulnerable, and humble.

We often think we’re behind. That we’re not strong enough.
That everyone else has it together and we’re somehow falling apart.
But I’m here to tell you… you’re not failing.
Even if you feel like a failure—you’re not.

What I Do When I Feel Like a Failure

Let me tell you a story.

I held a California Broker’s license, but needed to get licensed in Idaho to fulfill my role as Branch Manager for over 160 agents.
I thought it would be easier than California.
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

I failed the first time.
In front of a group of students I was literally trying to recruit. Oof.

I failed the second time.
Quietly. This time on my own dime because I didn’t want anyone to know.

I failed the third time.
The examiner’s eyes were almost apologetic as she said, “You failed.”

And in that moment?
I sat there thinking, “I feel like a failure.”

But I looked her right in the face and said,
“No, I didn’t. I’ll see you next Tuesday.”

I went back a fourth time.
Armed with determination and just enough spite to light a small city.

And before I could even stand up from my chair…
That same woman ran up and pressed my results to the glass, grinning ear to ear.

I passed.

Four tries.
45 questions.
And one unshakable belief in myself.

Because I don’t quit.
And neither should you.

You Only Fail If You Quit

Sometimes life is a fight. It throws things at you out of nowhere.
But you weren’t built to be a victim.
You were built to adapt, overcome, and rise.

Even now, when things don’t go right—when progress feels slow or invisible—that voice still tries to creep in. And in those quiet moments, it’s normal to wonder, “Why do I feel like a failure?” But asking that isn’t weakness—it’s the beginning of resilience. Because even when the thought hits—“I feel like a failure”—I’ve learned that voice doesn’t get the final say.

Getting back up is how I fight it.
Trying again is how I win.

You’re Not Failing—You’re Becoming

Even if you’ve been sitting with thoughts like, I feel like a failure as a person, I want you to hear me loud and clear—you are NOT your setbacks.

Life isn’t about what happens to you.
It’s about what you do with what you’ve got.
Be scrappy. Be resourceful. Be resilient.

You’re not here to just survive.
You’re here to thrive.
To build. To rise.

Even when it’s hard.
Even when you don’t feel ready.
Even when you fail three times first.

I believe in your fire.
I believe in your fight.

And if nobody else has told you today—you’ve got this.

Now get back up.
Rise. Up.

💛 If this post hit you in the chest and you’re still sitting in the quiet, unsure of what comes next, go read Still Don’t Know What to Do at 51? You’re Not Alone—it might be the next breath you need.

Here’s a great article I found about rebuilding confidence after failure.