Ever have that feeling inside that whispers you aren’t enough? Not a great friend, not a great wife, not a great mom, not a great sister, not a great daughter, not a great coworker?
Those thoughts? They’re a flat-out lie. You are enough. Right now. Exactly as you are.
We have thousands of thoughts that run through our minds daily, and honestly, the question is: who put them there? It’s not like I wake up and think, “I should be mean to myself today!” Nobody thinks that. And yet here I am, thinking all the things I shouldn’t when it comes to how I see myself.
Would you ever talk to your best friend like that? Would you talk to anyone the way you talk to yourself?
No. Absolutely not.
You wouldn’t tell someone else their outfit makes them look fat. You wouldn’t point out that they look tired, empty, sad, or weak. You’d hype them up. Believe the best. Speak life.
And yet? We do it to ourselves.
The Truth You Need to Hear: You Are Enough
I’m writing this to remind you to pay attention to your thoughts. When a thought enters your mind, ask yourself: Is this thought helpful? Is it true? Is it building me up or tearing me down?
If it’s not helpful, get rid of it. Wipe it out. Tell yourself, “No thank you. I will not accept that.” Then replace it with something true, hopeful, and life-giving.
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I think, Dang, you’re getting old. Look at the bags under your eyes. Look at the wrinkles. Look at your gray hair. Or my favorite: You’re so fat.
And then I’m reminded how others see me.
I work with children, and the other day a little girl walked past my office and said, “Hi Jen!” As she continued down the hall, I heard her singing in her sweet 3-year-old voice: “Jennnn is soooo pretty, her hair is my favorite and I love her face…”
Now, when I look in the mirror and think I’m old, when I see bags under my eyes, when I feel like this life has used me up, I’m reminded of a little girl who sees me as pretty. Who loves my hair. Who loves my face.
She doesn’t see me the way I see me.
Let That Sink In
You see yourself as the mistakes you’ve made. You see yourself as your past failures. You see yourself as the woman (or man) who made the wrong choices in life.
But that’s just life. That’s growth.
There’s no manual for how you’re supposed to do this thing. As long as you did the best you could with what you had and the tools you were given, you can’t be mad at the results of your decisions. You just have to let it go. If you’ve ever felt lost in this season, you’re not alone. Read: I don’t know what to do with my life.
Here’s My Advice
When the memories come creeping in? Let them. Sometimes taking a walk down memory lane can be healing, even when it hurts.
When you feel like a failure? Let that moment hit, but remind yourself that you’re still standing.
When you feel washed up? Remind yourself that you’re still here with both feet planted, screaming into the void, “I’M NOT DONE YET!”
Remind yourself that you have so much more to give. Until you cross that finish line, you have so much more to give.
Ignore the lies you tell yourself. You’ve grown. You’ve moved on. You’ve dealt with it.
Wrinkles? They mean you smiled a lot.
Bags under your eyes? They mean you had many nights waiting to hear your kids made it home safe.
Sadness? That means you’ve processed pain and dealt with it. You’ve become strong.
Like an eagle.
Flying high.
You have wisdom now.
You see things differently. You see others differently. You see yourself differently. And if you’ve ever felt invisible as you age, the shift no one talks about is that you finally get to rediscover who you really are.
You Are Beautiful
So when the negative thoughts come in? Smash them.
Think about what is good, true, and noble. Think about what is praiseworthy. Find something to be thankful for and meditate on it. And remember, protecting your peace is a full-time job, and it starts with how you talk to yourself.
Because life is beautiful.
You are beautiful. No matter what you have or haven’t done, you are beautiful. And you are worth all the love possible in this life. Hopefully today and every day, you can give that to yourself. (And be thankful to the One who created you.)
What “Enough” Really Means
If you’re still wrestling with what it means to truly believe you are enough, Melissa Camara Wilkins breaks it down beautifully in her post What It Means to Be Enough. She reminds us that being enough doesn’t mean being perfect, finished, or flawless. It means you were made to be you, on purpose, and that’s more than enough. Her words are a powerful companion to this conversation.
